El Estadio del Genero

Caminante works each day with kids and families to ensure that the rights of all people are met, men, women, and children. A large part of this mission is accompaniment and open discussion with families and the varying parts of the families.  One of the very important subjects Caminante creates conversation about is gender relations, gender stereotypes and culture, and sexuality. This conversation is important in every subgroup.

The DPV (Desportes Para La Vida) has an amazing activity for youth to create a safe space to discuss gender roles, expectations, dating, marriage, sex and everything in between. This activity is called “El Estadio del Genero”.  The group is asked to create an inner and outer circle, each sex taking a turn to sit in the center and have a facilitated discussion. The outer group is asked to respectfully listen to the conversation of the inner circle, knowing they too will have a chance to discuss.

My students discuss, at incredible depth and insight, what they have seen, heard, experienced as a male or female member of the community. As a female, I facilitated the girls circle in one of my classes… my girls discussed how they don’t think it is fair that the expectation is for them to clean and cook while the men or boys do not have to help. They said they think that they need to do these things for their family, and future husbands and children, because they need to take care of them. I asked them why men don’t do those things, because obviously, the physically “CAN” wash or cook. My girls responded that men take care of the family in other ways.

The girls also discussed how the most challenging thing about being a girl is, being a girl. What they meant, and discussed further, was that the expectation of being a girl is high. You need to be pretty, look good, get attention, sometimes unwanted, on the street, and be a “good” girlfriend/wife. Both the boys and girls talked about “amigos de recho” or friends with benefits and the difference of this status than “novio/a.” Something I was a little worried to hear, because I hope my pre-teens don’t feel any need for a friend with benefits at this age! This trend is popular in TV and movies right now with several stories following the lives of “unattached” singles with exciting and fun sex lives.

Two of the questions in the activity ask about gender violence and alcohol. My girls are very aware of violence in their communities. They state that they think it is wrong, but I fear that knowing something is wrong isn’t always enough. It takes incredible strength and will power to do something to stop violence against yourself, a family member, or a friend.  In a discussion with our group EPE, high school aged students, one of the girls told the group about a friend in a domestically violent relationship. She said she tried talking to her friend, but knew that wasn’t enough. She has reported the violence to Caminante, but unfortunately, Caminante can only follow up with the young lady… like in the US, no legal action can be taken unless the woman reports the violence. The teen girl in EPC noted that protecting your family, even your possibly violent husband, takes precedence. In the gender circles, my girls, intelligently stated that alcohol is dangerous for them at times because one, it can provoke violence and it changes how people act and two, it can make you do things you may not intend.

While my group of 13-17 year olds may not always be the most mature, calm, or the greatest listeners, this activity really brought out the best in them. They laughed and giggled, but they also talked about some amazingly intelligent and important things… what they see, feel, and experience in their own families and communities. They are growing up in a culture where expectations of gender are high, men are expected to be very masculine and strong while women are expected to be beautiful and primarily dedicated girlfriends/mothers/wives.