Happy New Years Eve!

Happy New Years!

Feliz Año Nuevo!

Woke up a little chilly this morning (75 degrees)...
then I remembered, my house looks like this right now!
(Photo: John Holst 12/30/12) 

Banging pots and pans on NYE
last year with my favorite girl!

Mountain Tops and Rivers

Christmas just wasn't the same this year... and yet, totally awesome. 

Kenya's Home in Villa Altagracia

I had the amazing opportunity to spend Christmas this year in the mountains. I was warmly welcomed by many families to their dinner tables, felt fresh air, heard the very unique sound of rain on a tin roof, swam in the river's "dulce aqua," and rode home to Santo Domingo in an over crowed mini guagua with our bags and a 6 year old in my lap!

There were no presents, no Christmas trees, the tables were full of delicious food in mismatched bowls, plates, and silverware, and there were never enough chairs for everyone... but everyone was happy. While it was very fun to watch my family open a few presents via skype and even open a few for me, I felt guilty about the fuzzy socks and adorable scarf I had received in the US, that my parents will have to pay to mail or will sit in my room for the next several months until I am home. 

Christmas in the Dominican is ALL about the food, for some, the extended families come together for the big meal, but for others like the two I shared in on Christmas Eve (Noche Buena) were for the immediate family and us. The holiday really is about having a special meal with the family... other than that, people went about their normal lives. 

Sitting down to celebrate family and good food!

Our wonderful hostesses and Christmas dinner chefs!

Christmas morning was "salon" for the girls and Kenya, they put straightener and color in their hair. So, we took the little ones to the Rio!

One of the highlights of the trip was setting Maria Elena (pictured in polka dots above) with an email and facebook account. I had brought along my computer to skype my family for Christmas, but it was great to give her the opportunity to set up these accounts, something that for us are part of our daily routine  They have internet cafes and access to internet in other ways, but without help to set up an email or "get started" it is pretty useless! So, on Tuesday night, after the morning of "salon" we took a profile picture and ended up having a fun family "photo shoot!" 

The family

Kenya and her daughters


The "sola" poses that followed were just too fun not to share!

Once again, the trip home was quite the adventure but we had plenty of time for window (street vender) shopping in Santo Domingo and some fried chicken before the second half of the trip home!

A Very Merry Christmas

I have had the amazing opportunity to attend 2 very special Christmas parties this week for the children of Caminante. All of the staff works so hard to create meaningful events that provide needed support and substance for children and families in the Boca Chica area, but these two Christmas events were amazing!

~ ~ ~

The first party was held for the children of the Andres neighborhood and hosted by the group of Catholic nuns Denisse, Caminante's director works with. These women amazingly showed up with a van full of gifts for the kids, pizza, candy, drinks, and ready for a day of crazy excited kids!

We started off the event, as every good Caminante activity, with tons of silly songs, a skit, and games. Followed by the Christmas story and a lesson...

Which, rightfully, was followed by pizza for all...

AND presents, lots of presents! 

~ ~ ~

A second party was held only a few days later! This party was very special to me because it was for many of the kids I see every day... Caminante's kids who work most days in the beach or on the street. These kids are in and out of Caminante almost every day and make sure to say hello to me when I see them out and about. There were smile and full bellies all around!

The food was provided by very generous donations from several of Caminante's partners in Boca Chica, a local lawyer, the Fiscalia, and the Police Department all chipped in to make this event special! 

At this party, Caminante's staff each purchased a gift for a specific child, making the gift giving extra special! Everyone wanted to give their gift to their special friend! Most all the children at this event received clothes... something they needed, but were none the less SUPER excited about. 

A special thank you, also, to our November volunteers from Norway, Aina, Guro, and their professor, who provided at least 20 of the gifts for the party!

"Chica de Fuego"

This little nick name is thanks to Julio because... Last Friday, I received the scariest call of my life. "Your house is on fire," is one of those things that only happens to other people, right? I was at a graduation for one of Caminante's programs and answering my phone was the last thing I was about to do!

The shock that took over left me literally useless, lacking any ability to think, let alone understand Spanish. While I stood around waiting for some magic way to get home immediately, my coworkers thought quick, did a lot of calling and with in a few minutes I was headed towards home. 

I am extremely grateful to everyone who helped me in the following 48 hours! By the time I had reached my house, all of the fire had been extinguished, the burned up fan and curtains had been removed, and the cleaning project had already begun. The whole house was wet from the water and there was a thick layer of soot everywhere, but other than that... nothing was damaged beyond cleaning or repair, thank God. 

The culprit.

The burnt linoleum after lots of scrubbing. 

Very black walls.

To go back a little, earlier in the day I had washed a couple loads of laundry and laid them out of the chairs in the dinning/living room during an afternoon rain shower. I never leave ANYTHING plugged in or running, except the fridge... but thought the fan would be fine to help dry the clothes quickly. Sometime while I was gone, said fan overheated/shorted out. The fan itself and the curtains that were hanging close by completely burned. All that was left of the fan when I saw it was the metal grate and a pile of soot! 

Side note: if you want to know where the cobwebs are in your house, start a fire. They burn and leave black strings everywhere that fall apart when you touch them.

This white dress was a little too close to the fan.

Lots of soot everywhere!

 My neighbors saw smoke pouring out of my window and were able to get the spare key from the landlord, get the hose into my house and put out the fire. I don't know what would have happened if a) they hadn't seen the smoke quickly b) been able to get in or c) the fan had malfunctioned in the night while I was sleeping! For these things I am thanking God for my safety and the relatively minimal damage! It took lots of cleaning, and I am still finding soot everywhere and often look down to see blackened hands. My fear was that my clothes that were sitting out would be ruined... they were very black with soot, but with the skills of Yumara, my clothes, sheets, and curtains look almost new! One living room chair needs some serious cleaning, but hoping it too will look great after a good scrub.

After lots of scrubbing and mopping... fresh paint to come!

Thank you to those who helped me clean, Esperanza and the Chica's Brilliantes Monte Ray, Yumara, Maria, Indeeda and Onea; Rayda and Julio who without thought opened their home to me (and July for letting me steal her family for a couple days); Morena, Deana, and Denisse for visiting me Friday night; and in advance, the Caminante boys who will be helping me paint in the coming week!

El Estadio del Genero

Caminante works each day with kids and families to ensure that the rights of all people are met, men, women, and children. A large part of this mission is accompaniment and open discussion with families and the varying parts of the families.  One of the very important subjects Caminante creates conversation about is gender relations, gender stereotypes and culture, and sexuality. This conversation is important in every subgroup.

The DPV (Desportes Para La Vida) has an amazing activity for youth to create a safe space to discuss gender roles, expectations, dating, marriage, sex and everything in between. This activity is called “El Estadio del Genero”.  The group is asked to create an inner and outer circle, each sex taking a turn to sit in the center and have a facilitated discussion. The outer group is asked to respectfully listen to the conversation of the inner circle, knowing they too will have a chance to discuss.

My students discuss, at incredible depth and insight, what they have seen, heard, experienced as a male or female member of the community. As a female, I facilitated the girls circle in one of my classes… my girls discussed how they don’t think it is fair that the expectation is for them to clean and cook while the men or boys do not have to help. They said they think that they need to do these things for their family, and future husbands and children, because they need to take care of them. I asked them why men don’t do those things, because obviously, the physically “CAN” wash or cook. My girls responded that men take care of the family in other ways.

The girls also discussed how the most challenging thing about being a girl is, being a girl. What they meant, and discussed further, was that the expectation of being a girl is high. You need to be pretty, look good, get attention, sometimes unwanted, on the street, and be a “good” girlfriend/wife. Both the boys and girls talked about “amigos de recho” or friends with benefits and the difference of this status than “novio/a.” Something I was a little worried to hear, because I hope my pre-teens don’t feel any need for a friend with benefits at this age! This trend is popular in TV and movies right now with several stories following the lives of “unattached” singles with exciting and fun sex lives.

Two of the questions in the activity ask about gender violence and alcohol. My girls are very aware of violence in their communities. They state that they think it is wrong, but I fear that knowing something is wrong isn’t always enough. It takes incredible strength and will power to do something to stop violence against yourself, a family member, or a friend.  In a discussion with our group EPE, high school aged students, one of the girls told the group about a friend in a domestically violent relationship. She said she tried talking to her friend, but knew that wasn’t enough. She has reported the violence to Caminante, but unfortunately, Caminante can only follow up with the young lady… like in the US, no legal action can be taken unless the woman reports the violence. The teen girl in EPC noted that protecting your family, even your possibly violent husband, takes precedence. In the gender circles, my girls, intelligently stated that alcohol is dangerous for them at times because one, it can provoke violence and it changes how people act and two, it can make you do things you may not intend.

While my group of 13-17 year olds may not always be the most mature, calm, or the greatest listeners, this activity really brought out the best in them. They laughed and giggled, but they also talked about some amazingly intelligent and important things… what they see, feel, and experience in their own families and communities. They are growing up in a culture where expectations of gender are high, men are expected to be very masculine and strong while women are expected to be beautiful and primarily dedicated girlfriends/mothers/wives. 

A week of Rallies!

The past few weeks have been filled with lots of school visits, English classes, days with friends, and two great rallies! November 20th was the day of rights for children, November 25th International day for awareness about violence against women, and December 1st was UN HIV/Aids prevention day. We celebrated the first two with a rally on the 23rd with one of the schools in Andres, our EPE high school group, and Dartmouth's baseball team! It was quite the mix of people and the American boys doing "Chuly Chuly" was the highlight for all the kids... let's just say they were NOT helping my case that Americans can dance.

Some of school children showing off their signs! Together we chanted "Yo Tengo Derecho" (I have rights!). In the Dominican Republic, children's rights are not legally protected like adults.

Violence against women (and children) is a problem in the DR (not to be said it is much better in the US, or anywhere else in the world!). Some of the problems, in the thoughts of my colleagues at Caminante, are hyper masculinized culture. This culture includes a very masculine identity for males, especially in the role of husband, father, boyfriends etc. They are the disciplinarians in the family, multi-partners is "excepted" (this is in quotes because this is not actually true, more truthfully, it is disliked by most women and men but continues to be commonly practiced... Divorce for infidelity is much more common now, but yet not yet the norm), and fighting with other men is very common. My girl friends have taught me to quickly leave the scene when an argument breaks out in the disco, festivals, or even in the daytime because fights here are a serious problem and escalate quickly. In addition, the cultural hyper masculinity, according to some of the girls at Camiante, also creates a space for jealousy. Lastly, my teen girls in DPV talk about how alcohol makes boys (they mostly talk about hypothetical boyfriends/husbands) angry and tough. 

Its hard hearing the teens talk about violence they have seen in their own communities or families because the culture here is still silence. Caminante's goal is to be a place where women and children can come for help and to report violence, but unfortunately reporting is very rare and many women chose to live with the violence instead of coming for help. The fiscalia has had more success combating violence and abuse of children than that of adult women.

Yessica and Julissa helping one of the students address the crowd! 

Saturday, December 1st, Caminante held a second rally. We brought together several groups of Chica's Brilliantes, all the youth from Monte Ray, EPE students, and more to get the word out about HIV/Aids prevention and more importantly, try to break some of the stereotyped beliefs about HIV/Aids. Caminante's kids are very well informed and many are very passionate about sexual education. It is great to see how Caminante's staff have impressed and educated the kids so that they too, want to educate others. Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of this day as I chose to participate and hang out with the kids and let others do the picture taking! Check out Caminante's facebook page here for pictures of our events!

I have been so neglectful of my blog for the past few weeks... a new goal for December: two blog posts a week! Friends and family, keep me honest!